Who Said What?


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#1 Who said? “When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.”

#2 Who said? “They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.”

#3 Who said? “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”

#4 Who said? “One martini is just right, two is too many, three is not enough.”

#5 Who said? “My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”

#6 Who said? “A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”

#7 Who said? “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

#8 Who said? “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

#9 Who said? “Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.”

#10 Who said? “The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.”

#11 Who said? “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

#12 Name that song: “I am going any which way the wind may be blowing / I am going where streams of whiskey are flowing.”